Christians are straight up FREAKS
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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