Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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