1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
