pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
