You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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