i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
