my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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