Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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