i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
