you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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