My Higher Power is John Stamos
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
