that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
