he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
