you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
