right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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