There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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