im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
