so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
