yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
