just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
