i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
