sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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