you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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