take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
