I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
