do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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