Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
