Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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