he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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