You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cannot find my penis.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
