He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
