fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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