Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
