Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wear drunk well.
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