dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
