i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
