The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
