I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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