brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
