I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
