Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
