My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
