I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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