We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
