physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
