"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
