i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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