Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My penis needs a shock collar
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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