They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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