i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
